The Wolf Pack Jazz
by Sweet Darkling
Summary: What's a werewolf to do when you break away from your original pack, protect your sworn enemies and have nothing else going on? Well, come up with a really cool name for yourself! Session I up. A series of random one-shots based around The Wolf Pack.


**Disclaimer****: **I don't own Twilight.

**Author's note****:** The name is a total nod towards the most awesomely awesome Rat Pack (who also had female members, according to Wikipedia). It's also a nod to one of my other most beloved fandoms, Cowboy Bebop. I'd recommend the anime to anyone who likes anime with depth, double meanings and great soundtrack. I was tempted to call this the Wolf Pack Bebop but it didn't flow as well, alas. Anywho, all of the chapters will be called sessions, as a nod to both, Cowboy Bebop and the musical genre. I hope you guys like this. It'll be a series of random one-shots focussed entirely on this wolf pack.

**The Wolf Pack Jazz**

**Session I**

"So what should we name our new awesome pack?"

Not for the first time, Leah wondered what her brother was on to constantly be so chirpy. And weird. A name for their pack? What was wrong with just being called The Other Pack? Or The Weird Pack That Defended Their Enemies? Or The Homeless Pack wasn't a bad idea either? Jacob just grunted but it disconcerted Leah to see that Embry and Quil were giving it some serious thought.

"Nothing with the word 'moon' in it," Leah said, knowing the kind of clichés that would be going through the minds of these idiots and, if Quil's scowl was anything to go by, she'd hit the idiot on the head, so to speak.

"Why not?" Embry seemed curious rather than peeved and it irritated Leah that she couldn't just dislike him peacefully or mutter obscenities at him and about him when he was so calm and sweet and idiotically considerate. Bloody idiots.

"_Because_ it's stupidly clichéd; moons have _nothing_ to do with us phasing; it's disgustingly feminine for a pack that's mostly male; because the stupid leeches had already named us something stupid like _Children _of the fucking moon, and it's stupid." She explained succinctly, almost immediately then wondering who the hell had coined what they did as '_phasing_'. It was stupid, ridiculously, irritatingly, want-to-choke-on-acid stupid. She bet it was Sam. It was the type of stupid thing he'd do. '_Changing_' made more sense; 'morphing' even sounded cool. That's it; she was going to replace phasing with morphing and fuck Sam if it pissed him off.

"But we're the pack that has the only female wolf, ever," Emrby said, after thinking thoughtfully for a few seconds, succeeding in shutting down all of Leah's thoughts as she boggled at him. Out of all of the reasons she'd given them to not use the word moon, he'd chosen to question _that_ reason? What the hell was he thinking? She looked at him more closely and fought a blush and gag that had simultaneously risen. From the way he was looking as he thought about the only female wolf amongst them, maybe it was better if she had no idea what was going on in his perverted, teenage mind. Jeez, she was like a sister and mother combined to them and they actually looked like that when they thought about her? It was clearly a good thing that she couldn't see their actual faces when she heard their really disturbing thoughts, when they were phased together. _Morphed_! Morphed together, damn it. Changing the wordings might be harder than she had anticipated if she slipped up within minutes of deciding.

"That doesn't mean it isn't clichéd, is a pet-name used by the Blood-Suckers for us, is _shit_ and totally lacking in creativity and I veto it," she said, almost lazily as she continued to lie on the grass, staring at the raining grey sky. Again. Why did they enjoy sitting around on grass and staring at the perpetually grey sky anyway?

"You could have just vetoed it, without the rant, you know," Embry said softly, almost politely. What the hell was up with him, like, seriously? Damnit, now she was talking like a brain-dead, literally-dead girl. But seriously, since when did he have more common sense than her? "Although it would have been less entertaining," he added, just as softly as before and just as politely. This. Was. Weird.

"Right...ok..." It was a lucky thing, if irritating, that her brother interrupted her because she really didn't know what to say to something that almost could have been a compliment. What did people do when they got compliments? Normal people that don't hate children, turn into wolves in emotional times, don't protect their enemies or are currently homeless, despite having a mother who tells them to return to them all the time, with cooking and washing included. So what did normal people say to compliments? She was damned if she knew.

"So anyway, what non-moon involving name are we going to pick for our pack?" Again, Seth was abnormally chirpy when he asked this.

"Something with the word wolf in it, obviously," Jake's voice grabbed Leah's attention as she turned to stare in horror at her alpha, who was apparently oblivious to clichés and acts of horror against the English language.

"Oh, what about a name with something to do with Wolverine?" Quil was almost jumping up and down at this thought.

"Wolverine's too cool for you," Leah said smoothly. "See, he's actually a man and a fighter and has the cool iron nail things he can use to kill people with. All you've got going for you is..." She paused, trying to really, genuinely think of something, _anything_, that Quil had going for him, because even as a wolf, he was more a puppy than a fighter. "I suppose you've got Claire...and her make-overs..." The thing that actually made Leah sad was that this was, quite literally, _all_ she could come up with. Man, they did live pretty miserable lives. No wonder her squeaky brother wanted a cool name for them. Damn it, she'd have to come up with something cool now. Damn it!

"Bitch."

"Damn right, and a killer one at that. Shame you don't have my fighting skills." That reply was almost too easy for it to be worthwhile, until she saw Quil's petulant scowl. That made it worthwhile.

"Wolf Mania."

"NO! It sounds like a disease. A mental illness of some kind." She turned down Jacob's idea, Alpha Wolf or not. She then ignored the muttered "Sounds perfect for you, then" that came from him.

"Wolf Thugs."

"God, no. We're not gangster wannabe's." Although she was secretly intrigued that Embry's mind would go to something that gangster; she'd never considered him to be that kind of guy and this made her wonder just how little she really knew the guy. She dismissed this thought a second later, trying to think up a name that didn't suck and that would make all of their lives a little less...crap.

"Wolf Busters."

"Damn it, we're not fighting against wolves, you retard. Vamp Busters maybe."

"Vamp Busters, then," Quil replied sulkily.

"No, it's stupid." She dismissed it anyway because, well, it was stupid.

"How about..."

"Nope." It was amusing to see Jacob's face turn a little red and scowling. Granted, his ideas didn't suck as much as Quil's but the entertainment derived from pissing him off was priceless.

"I was _going_ to say _maybe_ we could be called Wolves and the Bitch. I could add a few choice words to describe you better but I don't think it's necessary." That's a thing she liked a lot about Jacob; he was great for getting pissed off and pissing her off in the process. It was almost like they allowed each other to get rid of their anger issues in this way. That, and he was the only one who seemed to come up with decent comebacks.

"How about Bitch and Her Bitches. Now that's fairly accurate, don't you think, Dearest Alpha?" How sad that this actually amounted to a good day in her life. Maybe a cool name would mean as much to her as to the little kiddies?

"How about the Wolf Man Blues?"

There was a silence as the four of them looked at Seth, all stunned that someone so cheerful would come up with Blues.

"That's...depressing..." Leah managed to utter, still trying to weigh up the name in her mind.

"Why Blues?" Embry asked him curiously.

"I dunno. It sounded cool." And with that, any claim Seth had of being deep or thoughtful disappeared. Quil snorted as the others returned their gazes to the sky, trying to think out a cool name. No thoughts about barren she-wolves and the misery inflicted on them (and by on them, she obviously meant on _her_) or imprinting fucking the lives up of people previously in love (again, relevant mostly to her) or how phasing interrupted schooling...not that these cubs would really dislike that... Ok, so maybe she was the only one with the blues issues with wolfing it up... It just didn't sound quite right, and not just because it blatantly disregarded her sex. Typical men. It sounded more like a song, too, and, if she was really honest with herself, she just didn't want to admit that her baby brother could come up with a cooler name than she could.

"How...about..." She said slowly, trying to think it through, to see if it sounded good, "...something like...The Wolf Pack...?"

It was their turn to snort and mock her. Of course, it would be her oh-so-smart(-arse) Alpha that shot it down. "That's not a name, that's a description. That definitely tops the Stupid List."

"I didn't mean it as a description, retard," She rolled her eyes, refusing to look at him and instead, continuing to gaze at the sky. "It's like the Rat Pack. You know, the group of gangsters with awesome music." She paused, waiting for any more jeering or mocking and hearing none. "I kinda think we're like that, you know. Breaking away from Sam's pack, guarding are sworn enemies and making the world all topsy-turvy."

"Yeah, that's a brilliant idea. We're like outlaws, werewolf gangsters." Seth's enthusiasm made his voice a little shrill and made him sound so young and _un_-outlaw like. Although that is what they were...sort of.

"And we could use their music as our theme tune," Quil chimed in. Who the hell had said anything about theme music? What the hell were they, a TV show?

Before she could burn that idea down, Embry had vetoed it and instead added, "We could do all that they did, like, you know, gambling and bootlegging. We could totally have a black market or something, and create an underworld empire." Ok, so maybe she had been wrong about hidden depths in Embry.

"Yeah, and how about killing and torturing people for safety money and crap?" She asked sarcastically. She turned to look at Jacob now, waiting for his response to her idea. Almost as if he felt her gaze, he turned to look at her.

"It doesn't sound bad," He said reluctantly, although her big-ass grin did cause his lips to twitch upwards. Hell yeah, she was the creator of all cool names, EVER! "I guess we're the Wolf Pack then, outlaws of the normal Werewolfery World, the gambling, bootlegging Werewolf Gangsters Extraordinaire."

She turned her face back to the sky, well satisfied with today's work and ready to take a nap. Guess they were the Wolf Pack now. The name really was quite cool and it did make being a werewolf a little less unbearable. She closed her eyes and went to sleep, a smile still on her face, as the rest of the Werewolf Gangsters came up with more and more outlandish ideas of what to do and how to make money.


End file.
